This is my sweet little boy with a hat on because we’re trying to keep him from twirling his hair and making the bald spot on his head get even worse. From almost the moment he was born, he loved to pull hair. He pulled and pulled on mine while eating or trying to sleep, and I let him. I could tell it was his soothing method, and so I let him.
Then he started using it in social situations where he felt uncomfortable. I would do my hair nicely for once, and he would ruin it as soon as we got out among people – he would pull and pull on my hair to comfort himself.
Then his hair got long enough that he could pull his own hair. We thought nothing of it. But it got bad at around age 2 when he started twisting his finger around in his hair and “twirling,” as we call it. That’s when he started getting a bald spot on the crown of his head.
The bald spot keeps growing and growing, and I feel like a worse and worse parent. If I make him stop, how will he comfort himself? And if I don’t make him stop, his hair will look terrible and he may not outgrow it when he gets older. He has a seven-year-old cousin who has the same problem. He’s old enough to know better, but he just can’t stop doing it.
That’s where trichotillomania comes in. That’s the diagnosis his cousin has, and I wonder if that’s the direction we’re going. Even if I wanted to stop my little boy from pulling on his own hair (I do, actually), I don’t know how to make it happen. He won’t wear a hat 24-7. And he usually does the hair twirling when I’m not looking or able to stop him – in the car seat, in bed at night, while watching tv (and I’m making dinner or something).
It’s a tough situation. I feel so sad every time I see the bald spot on his head. He has such beautiful hair, but we’re probably going to buzz it off and see if that helps. Anyone else out there face this situation? How do you cope with it?
I mentioned that Buki has to ensure that we are happy at all times. He has now taken it to a whole new dimension. This story involves human excrement. You have been warned.
Our toilet decided to clog itself the other day after a number two (won’t say whose). I plunged, but it did nothing to help the water go down. My Buki tries to help and makes it worse when he flushed the toilet a second time. That’s when icky water started flowing all over the floor. We ran for our lives, of course. Wouldn’t you?
I tried to clean up the mess but just started gagging and had to leave. Later in the day, I open the downstairs bathroom to find that shit water has flowed down the air vent (who puts an air vent on the floor of a bathroom?!) and rained down on everything in the downstairs bathroom, including into the sink that doesn’t drain. Love.
But Buki, ever worried about my emotional stability, felt the need to ask me every time I yelled or got upset about the bathroom situation, “Mommy, are you happy?” Oh yes. So very, very happy. At least Buki brings some humor to the situation.
Buki is obsessive about making sure everyone in the house is happy. He even tries to cheer us up if we’re sad. He doesn’t do it in a way others would understand, but I take it as a good sign that he’s interested in our emotions.
The problem is that he doesn’t want us to experience any emotion except happiness. So if I mention that I feel sad, he runs over to me and starts laughing. At first I thought he was laughing at me, but recently I realized that he’s just trying to cheer me up.
If I mention to my husband that I don’t feel very good, you can bet that Buki heard me. He will run over and say, “Are you happy, mommy?” over and over until he recieves the desired answer. Correct answer: “Yes! I am happy.”
Or if I stub my toe and yell about it, there’s my little boy, asking if I’m happy. It makes me laugh every time. So the funny thing is, even though I’m not always happy when he asks me, I end up feeling happy because my adorable son cares so much about making sure everyone is happy.
Last night at around 3am, I carried my boy from his crib into our bed. I was on auto-pilot. We do this every night – he cries around 3am and won’t fall asleep again unless he’s snuggling with us in our bed. As I snuggled him last night I heard his little voice (not sure if awake or asleep), “Are you happy, mommy?” Yes, little boy. Very happy.